I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
