Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize