question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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