I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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