You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
