i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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