we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize