a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
