The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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