Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
