yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
