maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
