just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
