So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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