does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
