I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
