i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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