your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize