Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Farmville is her only friend.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
