I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
