I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
