Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
