Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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