Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
