I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
even my farts smell like vagina
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
