Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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