My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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