we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
