You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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