Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
