You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
