Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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