i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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