She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize