So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
