i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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