I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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