I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
