dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
