if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
