I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she woke up with a sticky ear
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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