Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
