Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
