There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We are all done wearing pants today
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
