Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
