im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
