white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
