Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
