If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
