the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
