what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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