margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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