Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
