Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize