I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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