I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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