Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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