once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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